I don’t know if I have been in relationship or it was just an illusion but I divide whole scenario in following stages:
1. I loved that first meet and that initial attraction towards you.
I loved the way you interacted with me.
I loved talking – SMSing – scraping you for almost whole day and never cared for internet and mobile charges.
I loved those first moves of flirting.
Thanks for getting attracted towards me and making me feel excited.
2. We became better friends and we came to know a lot about each other.
I started understanding you better, and how easily you got an insight to my mood just by hearing my voice.
I loved those sleepless nights while talking to you.
I loved to see your deep attachment and trust towards me.
Thanks for hearing whole crap of my life and being my best friend.
3. Our friendship got more matured. I loved your company even more.
A little bit of indecent stuff and other moves entered our life. I loved to see that shyness and naughtiness in your eyes.
We really understood each other so well.
Thanks for making me feel like a man.
4. I got into deep attachment with you. But I could see you moving away from me for undefined reasons.
I noticed few more guys love for the reasons I have loved you.
It was difficult to understand your ignorance towards me. But I requested and even begged you to get in contact with me.
Thanks for making me feel awful, jealous and angry. Thanks for making me witness bitter parts of life.
5. In spite of my efforts you left me, you ignored me like hell.
It was terrible and pathetic to see your changed behavior.
Thanks a lot for making me feel empty hearted. It is now:
1. I realized life should be self centric; I take life seriously now. I have enough time now I spend more time planning my life.
2. I don’t have to spend much on mobile.
3. I can sleep well through night.
Thanks even more for making me realize all this about life. I think that’s why it is said “There is a woman behind every successful man”.
I wish you always remain happy with other guys and you make those guys cross stages 1 to 5 and make there life successful. I wish your most loving guy never reach stage 5 with you.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
First Kiss
It was a small room reeking with medicines and phenyl. There was a fan rotating on top of me. I guess fan was at its urge of retirement, it must have worked fine in its young days but continuously blowing wind for patients had added frustration in it and that might be the reason it was making huge sound as if it wants to say “Look at me; I’m trying my best to keep you cool even in my old days”, but nobody listened to it so it has started revolving at about 5 degrees from its axis to convey its frustration. Though there’s an AC too, but I think it has been hanged just for exhibition purpose; to make us feel that we are in AC room, if someone feels too much of heat He can look at AC and hope it will work someday. Though, it hadn’t worked in last 3 days. Just opposite to me was a door, it had an inbuilt bell; I mean it clinks whenever it is opened and closed. The door had honor of placing a list of Do’s and Don’ts, I read them for 10 times in 3 days. I could see four walls, I guess they were painted for the first and last time at time of constructions and since then many kids have practiced there first lesson of drawing tilted lines on wall. I could hear my mom hymning prayers from Gurbani for my proper health and future. I could also hear a news reader blabbering on some crap; the sound was coming from a neighboring room, I could also hear a typical saas-bahu crap from some other room. I had nothing much to do other than counting drops falling from glucose bottle that was attached to my wrist. These drops were going in my body and imparting some energy in me and charge my brain for recording all thing above mentioned.
It was my 3rd day in hospital; lying on bed, feeling lazy and tired I was analyzing last few days of my life. The keywords surrounding my brain were xyz, web sites, career, exams, water, agra and so many. Suddenly, my mobile rang, my mobile was at home, I could not bring it with me when I was brought to hospital. Last call I recie was 3 days ago from a friend who wished me for my last exam of engineering. Mobile flashed “xyz calling”. I had not informed anyone about my health. Though xyz was closest to me but I didn’t inform her too.
“Hello”, I said. A beautiful voice replied “arvind”. I love the way xyz takes my name. I could feel every alphabet sounding differently A-R-V-I-N-D, awesome voice. A good percentage of my sorrows and tiredness flew away. She continued “where are you”, I replied “I’m fine” in somber tone. She said in hasty tone “are you ok. You dint replied to my sms and calls yesterday”? She had excellent ability to get insight to my mood from my voice and way of speaking.
I said “I just woke up. My brain’s still sleeping”.
She said “Really? Your brain sleeps too? Nice. Is your tongue awake”?
“Yeah” I replied again in low tone.
“Are you fine? you didn’t replied to my sms yesterday, where were you on last exam?” she asked with curiosity.
I tried to add a little bit of humor in voice and said “so, how’s going after exams? have you packed your whole lot of luggage”?
She replied in anger “Why are you are excited to send me back home. Well, where are you from last 2 days? you are not replying to my calls and sms also. Where were you on last day?" she continued in childish tone "I thought to spend these last 3 days at bhilai with you. I have to leave tomorrow. My dad is arriving this evening to take me back”.
She fires questions like an assault rifle, her voice sounded like bullet I couldn’t take it anymore, “I’m not well, I’m in hospital”, I said.
As expected, she replied with anger and care “What? What happened? Why in hospital? Which hospital?”
Like a scared kid I answered all her questions. Normally I don’t like when someone asks me so many questions but there’s an utmost level of care in the way xyz asks, I loved the way she cares for me. She said that she is coming to meet me and she might be here within 2 hours or so and there are no ways I can say her NO.
I was reluctant to call her to hospital. I wanted to meet xyz but not with sick body, in this reeking room and that too in presence of my mom. I’m bit shy to talk with females in presence of my mom. But I was excited, cells in my brain were working faster, finally glucose drops showed the magic there was a smile on my face. Mom looked at me, she smiled, I was a having a big smile on my face due the excitement. She thought her prayers finally worked and my son is fine now. Now, I needed more glucose drops to feed my brain so that my brain can issue signals to stop that big smile. She asked “how are you feeling”. I said “much better” with a pause I said “I want to get refresh, I want to change clothes have you bought some clothes of mine”. Mothers are the boons to human kind they can sacrifice anything for sake of their children. Luckily, female species of all age group have special affinity towards shopping. Mom had noticed a small clothes sale nearby hospital. She said “its u You are fine today. Wait a while. I will bring new clothes for you”. After some time she went to but some new clothes for me. I was happy she was not in the room, I thanked to glucose bottle, quickly I washed my face mended my turban.
Within 20 minutes somebody knocked at door. My brain calculated how mom can return so soon? xyz won’t come so early. Someone hushed into the room. Oh! God, this is Rani Aunty. She was least expected at that time. She’s mom’s friend who was there to accompany mom, I call her BBC (Bhilai Broad Casting), I gave her this honor because she has excellent talent of sharing secretive information of different families. I thought it would be even more uneasy to meet xyz in presence of her. Brain signaled some frown expressions to my face now. My face had a mixture of expressions, one expression was expressing excitement to meet xyz and another was fear of Rani Aunty and mom. She asked “how are you” and without even waiting for answer “Hope you are fine now”. I don’t now why she asks questions if she already know answers.
There was something peculiar about Rani Aunty’s behavior on that day. She didn’t say its so hot today, she didn’t smash AC with hope that it would work, she didn’t put on the TV for her favorite saas-bahu crap and instead she straight away went to the bathroom. Bathroom’s door was starring at me it was aspiring me to do something. Should I lock her in the bathroom, I thought I will say “sorry, that door is jammed you can’t come out”. While I was just thinking on all this stuff somebody again rushed into the room, I though must be xyz. I smiled I hoped to meet xyz but oh crap, she was nurse who was there to inject some life giving elements in my body. Her deeds and motives were always noble but not her way. She needs to touch an objectionable part of my body for imparting those elements in my body. While she was doing all this stuff I could hear some nasty sounds from bathroom. Nurse said “Don’t move”, my brain signaled what if xyz enters room now? xyz shouldn’t enter room now, I don’t want to her to see me in this position. Hopefully xyz didn’t enter in this time frame. Nurse did her work and went away.
I got in my normal position and cursed my destiny for creating all this mess. Aunty came out; very hastily she took out a small bag from a bigger bag. She handed over that smaller bag to me and said “your mom is downstairs and she has send you these clothes, me and your mom are again going to shop to buy same pair of clothes for my son”. I said thank God you made women shop-alcoholic.
Brain works faster in few situations, this was one of them. As soon as she left I changed clothes, I shifted all medicines to the chair, I shifted clothes and some other stuff to second chair and I folded the stool and threw it under the bed. The only place now left to sit was on my bed itself. I tried to smile less so that I can still look sick in new clothes.
Door knocked again. Knock was pretty gentle and this time someone expected appeared on the door. I can’t forget that perfect figure behind awesome combination of pink chudidaar, sleeveless white kurti and pink dupatta. Her charming face constitutes a couple of glowing eyes that were asking “how are you”, I guess this what is called “ankhiyo se goli mare”; a shinning face, she is so fair that I suspect that she looks fair even in negatives of her snaps; a nose that shares room with anger; lips that like to end every sentence with –ly words like actually, probably; a couple of ears, these ears have certain sensors that can guess my mood by hearing my voice. In simpler words I had never observed her so minutely.
Everything was moving in slow motion. My brain processed so much data in just one look. She came and sat next to me on bed. I had never been so close to a girl physically. She smells beautiful; rather her selection of perfume is better. “How are you” she asked with curiosity. “Much better after meeting you” I responded with a sense of relaxation. She said with anger “why didn’t informed me earlier”? While replying I suddenly realized that she is holding my hand. Her hands were so smooth and soft and I noticed that my hands are so thin, ugly and hairy. I wanted to hide my hands but I didn’t dare to take my hands out of her grip.
“Can I say you something” I said with a feverish voice.
As expected “yes” was the reply.
I said “You know, your biceps are stronger than mine”.
She replied “Really? Haha. You should have some time for eating and sleeping too. I have said you so many times take care of your health, drink and eat properly but you never listen to me.”, with bossy voice, this is what she has in common with mom. I was in no mood to get into normal chit chat.
I continued “How come you got so fair, I hope won’t get dirty If I touch you?”
She laughed. I love to see her laughing. Many times I hit punks just to make her smile.
I continued “You look even more beautiful from this small distance. It seems I’m looking at a zoomed version of yours”.
After a pause I said “I hope I’m not sounding stupid.”
“Stupid? How can you sound stupid? You are such an intelligent species. Don’t you even know to praise beautiful girls?”
I said “Is this the way you discourage guys who don’t know to praise beautiful girls? I just say what I feel like.”
She : “I think the section of you brain that handles flirt is still unwell”
I said, taking my hand away “I don’t know what flirt exactly means, I just say what I feel like saying”. I stood up in front of her with open hands and said in serious tone
“Thanks a lot for coming, and thanks a lot for being such a beautiful part of my life”.
She griped my hands again and stood up with my support. The next moment we both were exactly in front of each other, an eye to eye contact. Looking stagnantly in her eyes I repeated “thanks for coming and boosting me, it’s a pleasure to be in your friend” with a bit more stiffness in my voice. She responded “thanks for being part of my life too, thanks for making me laugh in bitter times”.
It was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, her eyes had never been so deep I sensed some shyness in her eyes and her face had never been so stunning. I could no more hear the news reader’s tenor, yogi’s speech and fan’s noise; it was deep and intense silence in my brain, all I could see was xyz and all I could hear was my heart beat that was beating like drum. I said “you look so beautiful can I keep staring at you”. She nodded with shyness and touched her forehead with mine. Her hands were around my waist and I was wondering where to keep my hands. I felt as if whole universe in is my arms. All I wanted to do was to get her in my grip forever. “Say something” she said after a while, I noticed her lips moving slowly. I said “What”. My brain issued some ambiguous signals and next moment I gently touched her lips with mine.
I noticed some thing pinching my waist. I said “xyz, I think I forgot to take out tag from my lower”. She said “Arvind, don’t you ever get serious”. I replied “yeah I was serious about something in life. But life didn’t take me seriously.” I noticed her lips getting closer to mine and we kissed again. These were the best moments of my life. My brain halted and it failed to store these moments of pleasure. After a while I looked in her eyes, she was crying. Honestly, her eyes were looking even more beautiful. I asked while wiping her tears “why you are crying?”. After putting some effort, she smiled, she removed her hands from my waist and said “I have to leave now. My mom’s waiting outside, I’m getting late”. Releasing her from my arms was the toughest work I ever performed. She said “get well soon. I will call you later”. She kissed again and then she left.
She had to leave. I felt helpless when she moving away from me, I had no means to stop her. I will miss her terribly. I lay on bed again. I could again hear the blabbering of news reader, saint and noise of fan, mom and aunty arrived soon. I just had witness the best moments of life.
Following lines of a song were on my .
“If I let you go
I will never know what my life would be holding you close to me
Will I ever see you smiling back at me
How will I know”
____________________________________________________________________
Disclaimer :
This story is imaginary. All the characters are imaginary. Any resemblance with real life stuff is purely co-incidence. Though I have intentionally named the lead character upon my name but its just because no other write will ever dare to represent his/her lead character with my name. You might be wondering who is xyz. But there is no one named xyz. I would love is you can suggest a beautiful name instead of xyz.
It was my 3rd day in hospital; lying on bed, feeling lazy and tired I was analyzing last few days of my life. The keywords surrounding my brain were xyz, web sites, career, exams, water, agra and so many. Suddenly, my mobile rang, my mobile was at home, I could not bring it with me when I was brought to hospital. Last call I recie was 3 days ago from a friend who wished me for my last exam of engineering. Mobile flashed “xyz calling”. I had not informed anyone about my health. Though xyz was closest to me but I didn’t inform her too.
“Hello”, I said. A beautiful voice replied “arvind”. I love the way xyz takes my name. I could feel every alphabet sounding differently A-R-V-I-N-D, awesome voice. A good percentage of my sorrows and tiredness flew away. She continued “where are you”, I replied “I’m fine” in somber tone. She said in hasty tone “are you ok. You dint replied to my sms and calls yesterday”? She had excellent ability to get insight to my mood from my voice and way of speaking.
I said “I just woke up. My brain’s still sleeping”.
She said “Really? Your brain sleeps too? Nice. Is your tongue awake”?
“Yeah” I replied again in low tone.
“Are you fine? you didn’t replied to my sms yesterday, where were you on last exam?” she asked with curiosity.
I tried to add a little bit of humor in voice and said “so, how’s going after exams? have you packed your whole lot of luggage”?
She replied in anger “Why are you are excited to send me back home. Well, where are you from last 2 days? you are not replying to my calls and sms also. Where were you on last day?" she continued in childish tone "I thought to spend these last 3 days at bhilai with you. I have to leave tomorrow. My dad is arriving this evening to take me back”.
She fires questions like an assault rifle, her voice sounded like bullet I couldn’t take it anymore, “I’m not well, I’m in hospital”, I said.
As expected, she replied with anger and care “What? What happened? Why in hospital? Which hospital?”
Like a scared kid I answered all her questions. Normally I don’t like when someone asks me so many questions but there’s an utmost level of care in the way xyz asks, I loved the way she cares for me. She said that she is coming to meet me and she might be here within 2 hours or so and there are no ways I can say her NO.
I was reluctant to call her to hospital. I wanted to meet xyz but not with sick body, in this reeking room and that too in presence of my mom. I’m bit shy to talk with females in presence of my mom. But I was excited, cells in my brain were working faster, finally glucose drops showed the magic there was a smile on my face. Mom looked at me, she smiled, I was a having a big smile on my face due the excitement. She thought her prayers finally worked and my son is fine now. Now, I needed more glucose drops to feed my brain so that my brain can issue signals to stop that big smile. She asked “how are you feeling”. I said “much better” with a pause I said “I want to get refresh, I want to change clothes have you bought some clothes of mine”. Mothers are the boons to human kind they can sacrifice anything for sake of their children. Luckily, female species of all age group have special affinity towards shopping. Mom had noticed a small clothes sale nearby hospital. She said “its u You are fine today. Wait a while. I will bring new clothes for you”. After some time she went to but some new clothes for me. I was happy she was not in the room, I thanked to glucose bottle, quickly I washed my face mended my turban.
Within 20 minutes somebody knocked at door. My brain calculated how mom can return so soon? xyz won’t come so early. Someone hushed into the room. Oh! God, this is Rani Aunty. She was least expected at that time. She’s mom’s friend who was there to accompany mom, I call her BBC (Bhilai Broad Casting), I gave her this honor because she has excellent talent of sharing secretive information of different families. I thought it would be even more uneasy to meet xyz in presence of her. Brain signaled some frown expressions to my face now. My face had a mixture of expressions, one expression was expressing excitement to meet xyz and another was fear of Rani Aunty and mom. She asked “how are you” and without even waiting for answer “Hope you are fine now”. I don’t now why she asks questions if she already know answers.
There was something peculiar about Rani Aunty’s behavior on that day. She didn’t say its so hot today, she didn’t smash AC with hope that it would work, she didn’t put on the TV for her favorite saas-bahu crap and instead she straight away went to the bathroom. Bathroom’s door was starring at me it was aspiring me to do something. Should I lock her in the bathroom, I thought I will say “sorry, that door is jammed you can’t come out”. While I was just thinking on all this stuff somebody again rushed into the room, I though must be xyz. I smiled I hoped to meet xyz but oh crap, she was nurse who was there to inject some life giving elements in my body. Her deeds and motives were always noble but not her way. She needs to touch an objectionable part of my body for imparting those elements in my body. While she was doing all this stuff I could hear some nasty sounds from bathroom. Nurse said “Don’t move”, my brain signaled what if xyz enters room now? xyz shouldn’t enter room now, I don’t want to her to see me in this position. Hopefully xyz didn’t enter in this time frame. Nurse did her work and went away.
I got in my normal position and cursed my destiny for creating all this mess. Aunty came out; very hastily she took out a small bag from a bigger bag. She handed over that smaller bag to me and said “your mom is downstairs and she has send you these clothes, me and your mom are again going to shop to buy same pair of clothes for my son”. I said thank God you made women shop-alcoholic.
Brain works faster in few situations, this was one of them. As soon as she left I changed clothes, I shifted all medicines to the chair, I shifted clothes and some other stuff to second chair and I folded the stool and threw it under the bed. The only place now left to sit was on my bed itself. I tried to smile less so that I can still look sick in new clothes.
Door knocked again. Knock was pretty gentle and this time someone expected appeared on the door. I can’t forget that perfect figure behind awesome combination of pink chudidaar, sleeveless white kurti and pink dupatta. Her charming face constitutes a couple of glowing eyes that were asking “how are you”, I guess this what is called “ankhiyo se goli mare”; a shinning face, she is so fair that I suspect that she looks fair even in negatives of her snaps; a nose that shares room with anger; lips that like to end every sentence with –ly words like actually, probably; a couple of ears, these ears have certain sensors that can guess my mood by hearing my voice. In simpler words I had never observed her so minutely.
Everything was moving in slow motion. My brain processed so much data in just one look. She came and sat next to me on bed. I had never been so close to a girl physically. She smells beautiful; rather her selection of perfume is better. “How are you” she asked with curiosity. “Much better after meeting you” I responded with a sense of relaxation. She said with anger “why didn’t informed me earlier”? While replying I suddenly realized that she is holding my hand. Her hands were so smooth and soft and I noticed that my hands are so thin, ugly and hairy. I wanted to hide my hands but I didn’t dare to take my hands out of her grip.
“Can I say you something” I said with a feverish voice.
As expected “yes” was the reply.
I said “You know, your biceps are stronger than mine”.
She replied “Really? Haha. You should have some time for eating and sleeping too. I have said you so many times take care of your health, drink and eat properly but you never listen to me.”, with bossy voice, this is what she has in common with mom. I was in no mood to get into normal chit chat.
I continued “How come you got so fair, I hope won’t get dirty If I touch you?”
She laughed. I love to see her laughing. Many times I hit punks just to make her smile.
I continued “You look even more beautiful from this small distance. It seems I’m looking at a zoomed version of yours”.
After a pause I said “I hope I’m not sounding stupid.”
“Stupid? How can you sound stupid? You are such an intelligent species. Don’t you even know to praise beautiful girls?”
I said “Is this the way you discourage guys who don’t know to praise beautiful girls? I just say what I feel like.”
She : “I think the section of you brain that handles flirt is still unwell”
I said, taking my hand away “I don’t know what flirt exactly means, I just say what I feel like saying”. I stood up in front of her with open hands and said in serious tone
“Thanks a lot for coming, and thanks a lot for being such a beautiful part of my life”.
She griped my hands again and stood up with my support. The next moment we both were exactly in front of each other, an eye to eye contact. Looking stagnantly in her eyes I repeated “thanks for coming and boosting me, it’s a pleasure to be in your friend” with a bit more stiffness in my voice. She responded “thanks for being part of my life too, thanks for making me laugh in bitter times”.
It was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, her eyes had never been so deep I sensed some shyness in her eyes and her face had never been so stunning. I could no more hear the news reader’s tenor, yogi’s speech and fan’s noise; it was deep and intense silence in my brain, all I could see was xyz and all I could hear was my heart beat that was beating like drum. I said “you look so beautiful can I keep staring at you”. She nodded with shyness and touched her forehead with mine. Her hands were around my waist and I was wondering where to keep my hands. I felt as if whole universe in is my arms. All I wanted to do was to get her in my grip forever. “Say something” she said after a while, I noticed her lips moving slowly. I said “What”. My brain issued some ambiguous signals and next moment I gently touched her lips with mine.
I noticed some thing pinching my waist. I said “xyz, I think I forgot to take out tag from my lower”. She said “Arvind, don’t you ever get serious”. I replied “yeah I was serious about something in life. But life didn’t take me seriously.” I noticed her lips getting closer to mine and we kissed again. These were the best moments of my life. My brain halted and it failed to store these moments of pleasure. After a while I looked in her eyes, she was crying. Honestly, her eyes were looking even more beautiful. I asked while wiping her tears “why you are crying?”. After putting some effort, she smiled, she removed her hands from my waist and said “I have to leave now. My mom’s waiting outside, I’m getting late”. Releasing her from my arms was the toughest work I ever performed. She said “get well soon. I will call you later”. She kissed again and then she left.
She had to leave. I felt helpless when she moving away from me, I had no means to stop her. I will miss her terribly. I lay on bed again. I could again hear the blabbering of news reader, saint and noise of fan, mom and aunty arrived soon. I just had witness the best moments of life.
Following lines of a song were on my .
“If I let you go
I will never know what my life would be holding you close to me
Will I ever see you smiling back at me
How will I know”
____________________________________________________________________
Disclaimer :
This story is imaginary. All the characters are imaginary. Any resemblance with real life stuff is purely co-incidence. Though I have intentionally named the lead character upon my name but its just because no other write will ever dare to represent his/her lead character with my name. You might be wondering who is xyz. But there is no one named xyz. I would love is you can suggest a beautiful name instead of xyz.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
